Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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