Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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