...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
