God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
