I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Farmville is her only friend.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
