she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
