i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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