you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize