I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just forgot I was standing up.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
