bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
