Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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