And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
