i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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