oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
