why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I still have a little drunk in my system
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
