birth control should be required to get into college
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
