I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
