Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
