i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
