I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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