you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize