Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
