your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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