Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Panties = found
Randomize
