In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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