Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
