Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
