If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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