Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
