I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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