Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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