we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
