I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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