i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
