im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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