he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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