I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
