so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
