Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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