Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize