My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
