You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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