fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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