Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
