why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
