I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Cover your peen. We're going out.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
