I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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