Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
