yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
