he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
