I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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