So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
