I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
