Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
