Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
