This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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