so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
