I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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