Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Hippo gnu deer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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