I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
