PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
