I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize
