Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
